The Joy of Less--Supplement for Kids (Part 1: Kids' Toys)

(I love the book "The Joy of Less" by Francine Jay. Unfortunately, you can tell that when she wrote the book, she didn't have children. Here are the parts she missed for anyone who is interested.)

Although kids can be small, they somehow fill their space better than adults do. Maybe it is because they feel the best place for their toys is spread completely over the entire area of the floor. Or maybe it's because they move more quickly than adults do that they take up more space. (Similar to how gases take up more space than solids or liquids.)

I find it's best to start downsizing on a very messy day. Let your playroom get to the maximum messiness, then look around. Who is there to help you clean up? Why is it that the kids are no longer playing there once it hits what I call “peak-messiness”? It's because it's no fun to play when things are all a mess. Everyone knows that.

Let's start:

1. At maximum messiness, go into the cupboards or containers that you keep the toys and take away any toys that are still remaining. If they haven't made it onto the floor at this point, they are obviously not favourites. It will make your cupboards or toy box that much more spacious when you do decide what deserves to stay.
   
   
2. Look at how many “sets” of toys you have and how many of them are similar. At one point, we had Lego, Megablocks, Duplo, a set called “Build-irific,” another set called “Build-O-Fun” (neither fun nor very easy to build with) and Playmobile. Then we have a large selection of Polly Pocket, a game with little action heroes called “HeroScape” and standard wooden blocks. Was all this necessary? Definitely not! There were six different sets that were all effectively about building scenes. Polly Pockets was more about fashion, so we kept it (but if we had Barbies, we would have chosen between them). We ended up keeping the Lego (because we had a lot of it), a smaller amount of Duplo for little kids, and Heroscape because it is extremely popular with my 3-year-old. Everything else was taken away.
   
   
3. Define how much space you want your toys to take up. We have an old 6-drawer dresser which seems sufficient for my four kids. We keep the toys in the same room that our TV is in, so very occasionally when we have people over to watch TV, we can put all the toys away entirely out of sight! It is almost like we don't have kids here! (Except the crying and fighting that is not contained in a simple dresser.) We don't keep toys in the kids' bedroom except for books.
   
   
4. With kids, space is key! We keep our dining room completely clear of furniture (we eat in our kitchen) so we have plenty of space to wrestle and run around in. It has well-padded carpet, which is perfect for breaking falls, and other than the piano against one wall, is completely available to dance or do gymnastics or roll yourself (or siblings) into a blanket.
   
   
5. Baby toys require their own category. When I only had one child, I had a TON of baby toys. Now that I have four kids, even though I still have a baby, I basically have zero baby toys. Same goes for Exersaucers, boucy chairs, swings and the full size crib. My fourth baby is happier with one-tenth the stuff than my first was. He doesn't get his own toys and instead plays with the older kids' things which are mostly appropriate. (I am lucky to have a son who rarely puts things into his mouth. If your infant/toddler is of the put-it-in-your-mouth variety, you might have to modify your strategy.) Little kids love playing with things that aren't toys like clean yogurt containers and spoons. There is nothing more fun for my one-year old than to put my rice cooker pot on his head. Or play in the tupperware drawer. Or go through my laundry. :(
   Also, baby things are easy to acquire because everyone seems to buy tons of it and then realizes that you only need a Bumbo chair for 6 weeks or that loud musical toy gets too annoying after a day. Ask around if you think you are missing something. Borrowing is way more convenient than storing large plastic baby things that you only need for a few months anyway.
   
   
6. Craft supplies can quickly get out of hand, but the fancier the craft supplies, the more work it seems to be for the parent. I also realized that kids make an amazing number of crafts at other locations, be it pre-school, school, after school clubs, library programs, family drop-in centres and the like. In fact, I have come to rely on these places to satiate my kids' desire for “fancy crafts” (things involving, but not limited to, feathers, googly eyes, buttons, sequins, anything with foam stickers, popsicle sticks and sparkles). In my own home, I keep a supply a recycling paper (already printed on one side from work), felts, pencil crayons, and water colour paints in a block altogether. We also have tracing paper, scissors, pens and a few other art supplies like stencils, stamps and stamp pads that are very popular with the younger kids. I even realized that my kids don't really colour with wax crayons if there is any other option. So out the crayons went.

Once you have pared down your stash to a reasonable amount (or an amount that fits comfortably in your space), watch out because birthdays and Christmas are lurking to ruin your best intentions! I now talk to my kids before their birthday and Christmas about letting go some of their toys to make space for the new things they will certainly get. (Despite my best efforts to stop the flow.)

It has literally taken me years to convince friends and family that my kids don't require birthday presents and still certain members of my family ignore me. (Or they qualify it as “something small.” The size isn't really the issue, actually.) I have given up entirely on grandparents, which, according to my mother, is “just mean to say [they] can't get them gifts!” As a result, I have never bought the kids birthday or Christmas presents at all because I know that no matter what I say, my parents and in-laws will get each kid a large gift for all major holidays. Thankfully, my mother-in-law is a wonderful listener when I give her advice (one year, she gave my daughter a selection of brand-name toiletries—like a Dora toothbrush and Princess bubble bath. She was thrilled). My own parents are a little more rogue and once came with markers that write on glass. Gee, thanks. (There were even three markers. How extra thoughtful!) We have four kids, so we are generating a lot of gifts. Not only is it cheaper, but it prevents us from feeling bad getting rid of something "we paid good money for."

It is doubly hard if you've gotten rid of all your Megablocks and a new set comes in. What do you do now? I figure that you should let the kids play with it because it is shiny and new and when the novelty wears off, donate it. And then don't invite them to your child's birthday party next year—or not. (I have found some success with threatening members of my family with this up front—“If you bring a gift this year, you will not be invited next year.” It sometimes work.)

Slow Cookbook-ing

Since finishing up all my quilts last year, I decided to take a little break from sewing. Mostly this is due to my more active baby coupled with the fact that my sewing room is deep in the basement, about as far away from everything as possible.

Instead, I started reading more. And I read Francine Jay's The Joy of Less. What an unbelievable book! I would recommend it to anyone who wants to streamline their life. So I started to purge and downsize and generally question why I have so many things in my life. And one of the things that I have a few of in my life is cookbooks.

We all have them: cookbooks we like for only one recipe. Cookbooks with nice photos. Cookbooks that we got as a gift from our husband on an overnight trip to Denver about quesadillas when we really just like our standard quesadilla recipe with the cheese and salsa. Okay, he's a great guy, but maybe not the best gift giver. I am very happy with him.

So we have these cookbooks, but if we were honest with ourselves, we know that we really only use a few recipes and can chuck the rest.

Enter "Slow Cookbook-ing."

I am compiling all my favourite recipes (about 100 including 50 dessert recipes!) into one book that I will then get printed off. It is a full colour monster and I am about half done. To finish it off, I am going to write the most awesome index in the world so I can find all the recipes that I want instead of flipping through my hodge-podge cookbook with the glued-in recipes that I currently have.

It's a dream that's becoming a reality. Very slowly. Especially with the kids. But I plug away at it everyday and I'm hoping to be done sometime before my birthday in February.

Happy 30th birthday to me!

New stuff is always better than old stuff

My stuff ready to be shipped out.

A friend of mine from Toronto said this to me a million years ago and it has always stuck with me.

We were just sitting around one day and he told me he was going to take a bunch of CDs down to the used CD store to get credit for new things. I had this odd feeling of loss--why would he want to get rid of CDs that he probably once enjoyed and some would probably only get him 25 cents (the minimum they would pay for CDs at this particular place at Bloor and Bathurst).

"New stuff is always better than old stuff," he said like it was so obvious. And it is so obvious. But it is something that I have thought of extensively over the past number of years.

Embracing this has been a long process. I have tons of stuff. We all have tons to stuff. Stuff is cheap and abundant. In the same way that we crave sugar snacks, we also crave stuff. More than we could ever need.

I have been battling myself in this way. There are so many things that I never use, so many projects that I genuinely don't want to finish. And yet I hold onto them... is it my responsibility to hold on to them forever?

How does this relate to quilting? It mostly relates to slow quilting. I don't need to make a quilt every single week. There are many quilters who do and many of their things are beautiful. But I don't need one quilt a week. If I can make one per year, I will still have 50 quilts when I die (we'll see if that happens!). And 50 quilts is way more than any one person could ever need--even in cold, cold Regina.

But new stuff is always better than old stuff, even in handmade quilts. I should think about limiting the number of quilts I have, replacing old ones with news ones. In this small way, I might be reducing the amount of things that pass through me on their eventual trip to the landfill. My job as steward of the earth is to keep less stuff going to the landfill.

So here is my start: a pile of things going out the door. Thank you church garage sale. Now I can get some new and exciting things when I go to preview everyone else's junk!

The Need for Slow Quilting

The Citrus Quilt Fall 2011

There is the slow food movement. It inspires us to think about our food, prepare our dinner, enjoy our meal. It makes food into something that requires care and attention, where part of the value is created in the process.

I believe there should be a movement for slow quilting, where care and attention is paid to each piece. Let's do hand sewing. Let's design our own patterns. Let's make something that really pleases us. And after this is all done, let's start something new from what we have learned.

It seems to me that many quilting magazines advertize Quick Quilts. These are projects that can be finished in a day of work. Unless you are selling them, or you are very, very cold, you do not need to finish a quilt in a weekend.

Instead, let's make really tricky quilts that will take a year to complete. If I've got another 50 years in me (maybe I do, maybe I don't), I will still have an insane closet full of completed quilts. But they will be very complicated quilts. And I hope very beautiful.

So let's slow down. Work slowly with passion. Make something beautiful. Challenge ourselves. Reduce clutter. Conserve our resources. Exercise our creativity.

Let's try Slow Quilting.