Sunday, June 23, 2013

The Joy of Less--Supplement for Kids (Part 2: Kids' Clothes)

Kids' clothing must multiply inside their drawers. I don't know how else to explain it. Last year, when I took out all my daughter's clothes from her drawer, I found 18 t-shirts. I don't even have 18 t-shirts and I don't change sizes every year. Could she be using 18 t-shirts a year? This sounds excessive.

With kids' clothing, it is best to take every item of clothing out of the drawer and closet and hook near the door and count. Just start by counting it all. You will probably be amazed by how many outfits each child has.

Then make a plan for how many outfits a child will reasonably need between laundry days. With four kids and a healthy dislike for laundry, I like to have a week supply of clothes fit into one load of my high-capacity washing machine. This means that we can't have a ton of clothes in our drawers or the load will get too big. (I quit sorting the laundry years ago with no noticeable difference. If you're feeling extra brave, you could try this too.)

I have decided that my children (aged 6 and under) each need about four or five complete outfits for a week. (Maybe you will judge that you need seven. This just means more laundry.) For my daughter, this would include dresses. Because the kids are small, I help them to make less laundry by judging their clothing from the day before: if it's not too dirty, they can wear it the next day.

(My own philosophy is that kids are quite dirty all the time. If they have a small(ish) stain on their shirt, no one can tell if this stain came from a week ago, yesterday or thirty seconds ago. Maybe some people think that my kids are little street urchins, but I generally believe most adults (a) don't look at kids clothing very critically and (b) generally assume that the stain was recent instead of from yesterday. Maybe my policy on wearable clothing is too liberal for some, but it works for me and my laundry habits.)

Each child gets one (1) drawer in the dresser where all their clothing goes. If it stops fitting, then I have to look at why. There might be toys jammed in there, or it might be that there are a bunch of clothes that are now too small. (They also get one (1) very small underware and sock drawer.)

Pajamas
Each child gets two (2) pair of pjs. I am almost at the point where I think one pair would be enough. If they have more than that, little kids are not thoughtful or careful about where the pjs go from the night before and they will end up on the floor and likely in the laundry. At nighttime, I say, "Where are your pjs from last night." If they only have one (or two) pairs, then it is easy to remember what they look like. I exchange summer and winter pajamas as necessary.

Specialty Outdoor Clothing
We live in Saskatchewan. It is cold here. In winter, we need a lot of gear just to take the van to the library. Snow pants, mitts, toques, winter jackets, fleece lined jeans, sweaters, etc. are necessary for the six months of the year we have snow and bitter cold. This takes up a lot of space. What we do not have is rain gear; it rains rather infrequently here. It is never "drizzling" like it does on the coast. It rains and then it stops. We rarely go outside when it's raining. As a result, I got rid of all our rain gear including rain jackets. If it's cold, we wear our winter jacket. If it's summer, we run. A little rain didn't hurt anyone. I don't even have umbrellas because there were more inconvenient to store than the value they provided. If you live in a warmer climate where it rains a lot, adjust your clothing stores to reflect this.

Shoes
I limit my kids (and myself) to four pairs of shoes: sandals (worn almost exclusively in summer--this also reduces the number of socks that I have to wash); runners; rain boots (we do still have a "set" of these that the kids rotate through as necessary); and winter boots. For the kids that are interested, I can bring out slippers, but for some of my kids, they don't care and I don't need extra shoes to find during the day. (We also got electric heated floors in part of our house which really reduces the need for slippers.) There is no reason to have shoes for every occasion! I don't have "fancy" shoes for the kids--instead they wear their sandals. My oldest son's runners are black and quite discrete when it comes to formal occasions.

My pseudo-rule (for other things as well) is that I want the drawer to be mostly empty by the time I get to the laundry. If there is one outfit left there, then I know I have judged the amount of clothes that my kids need correctly. If there are still tons of clothes left, then more paring down can be done.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

The Joy of Less--Supplement for Kids (Part 1: Kids' Toys)

(I love the book "The Joy of Less" by Francine Jay. Unfortunately, you can tell that when she wrote the book, she didn't have children. Here are the parts she missed for anyone who is interested.)

Although kids can be small, they somehow fill their space better than adults do. Maybe it is because they feel the best place for their toys is spread completely over the entire area of the floor. Or maybe it's because they move more quickly than adults do that they take up more space. (Similar to how gases take up more space than solids or liquids.)

I find it's best to start downsizing on a very messy day. Let your playroom get to the maximum messiness, then look around. Who is there to help you clean up? Why is it that the kids are no longer playing there once it hits what I call “peak-messiness”? It's because it's no fun to play when things are all a mess. Everyone knows that.

Let's start:

  1. At maximum messiness, go into the cupboards or containers that you keep the toys and take away any toys that are still remaining. If they haven't made it onto the floor at this point, they are obviously not favourites. It will make your cupboards or toy box that much more spacious when you do decide what deserves to stay.

  2. Look at how many “sets” of toys you have and how many of them are similar. At one point, we had Lego, Megablocks, Duplo, a set called “Build-irific,” another set called “Build-O-Fun” (neither fun nor very easy to build with) and Playmobile. Then we have a large selection of Polly Pocket, a game with little action heroes called “HeroScape” and standard wooden blocks. Was all this necessary? Definitely not! There were six different sets that were all effectively about building scenes. Polly Pockets was more about fashion, so we kept it (but if we had Barbies, we would have chosen between them). We ended up keeping the Lego (because we had a lot of it), a smaller amount of Duplo for little kids, and Heroscape because it is extremely popular with my 3-year-old. Everything else was taken away.

  3. Define how much space you want your toys to take up. We have an old 6-drawer dresser which seems sufficient for my four kids. We keep the toys in the same room that our TV is in, so very occasionally when we have people over to watch TV, we can put all the toys away entirely out of sight! It is almost like we don't have kids here! (Except the crying and fighting that is not contained in a simple dresser.) We don't keep toys in the kids' bedroom except for books.

  4. With kids, space is key! We keep our dining room completely clear of furniture (we eat in our kitchen) so we have plenty of space to wrestle and run around in. It has well-padded carpet, which is perfect for breaking falls, and other than the piano against one wall, is completely available to dance or do gymnastics or roll yourself (or siblings) into a blanket.

  5. Baby toys require their own category. When I only had one child, I had a TON of baby toys. Now that I have four kids, even though I still have a baby, I basically have zero baby toys. Same goes for Exersaucers, boucy chairs, swings and the full size crib. My fourth baby is happier with one-tenth the stuff than my first was. He doesn't get his own toys and instead plays with the older kids' things which are mostly appropriate. (I am lucky to have a son who rarely puts things into his mouth. If your infant/toddler is of the put-it-in-your-mouth variety, you might have to modify your strategy.) Little kids love playing with things that aren't toys like clean yogurt containers and spoons. There is nothing more fun for my one-year old than to put my rice cooker pot on his head. Or play in the tupperware drawer. Or go through my laundry. :(
    Also, baby things are easy to acquire because everyone seems to buy tons of it and then realizes that you only need a Bumbo chair for 6 weeks or that loud musical toy gets too annoying after a day. Ask around if you think you are missing something. Borrowing is way more convenient than storing large plastic baby things that you only need for a few months anyway.

  6. Craft supplies can quickly get out of hand, but the fancier the craft supplies, the more work it seems to be for the parent. I also realized that kids make an amazing number of crafts at other locations, be it pre-school, school, after school clubs, library programs, family drop-in centres and the like. In fact, I have come to rely on these places to satiate my kids' desire for “fancy crafts” (things involving, but not limited to, feathers, googly eyes, buttons, sequins, anything with foam stickers, popsicle sticks and sparkles). In my own home, I keep a supply a recycling paper (already printed on one side from work), felts, pencil crayons, and water colour paints in a block altogether. We also have tracing paper, scissors, pens and a few other art supplies like stencils, stamps and stamp pads that are very popular with the younger kids. I even realized that my kids don't really colour with wax crayons if there is any other option. So out the crayons went.

Once you have pared down your stash to a reasonable amount (or an amount that fits comfortably in your space), watch out because birthdays and Christmas are lurking to ruin your best intentions! I now talk to my kids before their birthday and Christmas about letting go some of their toys to make space for the new things they will certainly get. (Despite my best efforts to stop the flow.)

It has literally taken me years to convince friends and family that my kids don't require birthday presents and still certain members of my family ignore me. (Or they qualify it as “something small.” The size isn't really the issue, actually.) I have given up entirely on grandparents, which, according to my mother, is “just mean to say [they] can't get them gifts!” As a result, I have never bought the kids birthday or Christmas presents at all because I know that no matter what I say, my parents and in-laws will get each kid a large gift for all major holidays. Thankfully, my mother-in-law is a wonderful listener when I give her advice (one year, she gave my daughter a selection of brand-name toiletries—like a Dora toothbrush and Princess bubble bath. She was thrilled). My own parents are a little more rogue and once came with markers that write on glass. Gee, thanks. (There were even three markers. How extra thoughtful!) We have four kids, so we are generating a lot of gifts. Not only is it cheaper, but it prevents us from feeling bad getting rid of something "we paid good money for."

It is doubly hard if you've gotten rid of all your Megablocks and a new set comes in. What do you do now? I figure that you should let the kids play with it because it is shiny and new and when the novelty wears off, donate it. And then don't invite them to your child's birthday party next year—or not. (I have found some success with threatening members of my family with this up front—“If you bring a gift this year, you will not be invited next year.” It sometimes work.)